My Journal Entry
Written September 18, 2010
“Today has been hard. Physically hard. Emotionally hard. Just plain HARD. My last strength is drawn from grasping at the only air I have-God’s word and promises. My life is so different this year compared to last. Last year at this time I was running a photography business, living comfortably with two biological children and two foster children. My motives were self-centered. Fast forward almost exactly one year-I felt called to be at home with my children full-time. I put my business on hold and my only focus was my children and home. I was content and living comfortably. I didn’t mind cutting costs and pinching pennies to stay at home with my children. Then, long story short, Sole Hope was born. It was very clearly a vision, burden and soft spot put in my heart by God. Today is one of those days when I wonder what the heck am I doing?!? The world gets in the way and people taint my attitude. I cannot let this happen so I pause and redirect my thoughts. It is days like this when I have to read my own blog to redirect my eyes towards the goal.
Today I’ve thought a lot about service towards others…being humble and not boasting about it. Serving those who have even a small need, even when it does not feel good, even when there is no benefit for you. I pray I would become better at this everyday, and that when no one else shares the conviction to serve that it wouldn’t matter to me. That I would not be bothered but would continue remembering that I have ONE audience, ONE person to please and it does NOT matter what anyone else thinks. It is easy to serve others when you can see a positive outcome, when you get glory, and when you just feel plain good about doing a good deed. But what about all of the other times? Can you serve when no one is watching, when it’s not fun, when you are tired and weary? I’m not only telling you, but myself also-reminding us to check our motives and attitude. Service towards others can be the most beautiful picture of love. In fact, if I could paint (rather, if I had skills) I would paint a picture of love and it would be a picture of service and self-sacrifice.
Try to be more loving today…find someone to serve.”
LOVE this. I find too in the middle … about spreading the word about the organizations that I truly, to my core, believe in … and being quiet and just “doing my thing” to support in ways that I feel led straight from God. Where is the line … how to get others involved and excited, with out boasting or saying “look at what I am doing.” Tough. Because really … it would be waaaay easier for me to just do my God appointment thing … and not try to spur others on. But on the other hand … being the Hands and Feet of Jesus also means sharing and getting others on board. Trying to find that “sharing” as not “bragging or boastful or ….” Hugs to you, Asher. I believe in you … and totally in God’s will and desires for you … and for me too. =)